Pride and self-pity are the same thing but different. I bet you’ve never thought of these two in the same sentence (See the first sentence). Here’s what pride and self-pity have in common:

All Of Us

We’re all capable of either pride and self-pity at one time or another. In some circumstances, all at the same time. We’re all very good at pointing fingers, ironically in pride, and stating how we’d never be a jerk like the one we’re looking at.

We all know the one guy whose ego is so big you see it miles before he arrives or opens his mouth.

On the other hand you know someone who always sees things happening to him. The guy or gal who, as far as they are concerned, all the bad things happen only to them. No one but them…

We’re all capable of either pride or self-pity; none of them are healthy for us and those around us

In fact no one ever seems to care about them. They are the only ones who face challenges. I mean it’s clear everyone else always has it good. How come no one ever sees the pain they’re (always) in? How come no one ever stops to see about them? Like, ever?

If you think any of what you’ve just read is never you, go tell the person in the mirror not only are you a liar but you’re one proud jerk. Stop it.


Pride and self-pity have the same focus, the person coddling them. Both pride and self-pity say look at me, nothing else. Both say you must do something for me.

Pride says, “I’m all that… bow before me.” while self-pity says, “I feel so sorry for me, you don’t seem to feel sorry for me enough”.

The problem with this is you forget that the world is bigger than you. Bigger than your problems.

Pride and self-pity are selfish

Pride will blind you to the fact that whatever reason you justify for being ‘all that’, there is someone better. If you are the best then remember that you could still learn something from a baby in diapers.

Self-pity will have you thinking you’re the only one in pain or suffering, when there is someone worse off than you.


When you suffer, yes suffer, from pride or self-pity you’re a victim. Either has power to destroy you.

Both have power to cloud who you are to yourself and those around you, as your identity becomes what you’re either prideful or pitiful about. In fact, your identity will become your pride or self-pity.


Remember, under the right circumstance, you can easily fall into either. We all need people around us to help us realize when we fall into either and wallow.

Just be you. Don’t think any less of yourself but think of yourself less.

Published by Blessing Mpofu

just a guy changing the world

Join the Conversation


Be a part of the conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Very good message! Never thought about self pity and pride together. Seem so different but yet are so similar. Enjoyed this!