“Never lie and tell the truth [sic].” Those are the words of my grandmother. So, I’m not going to lie… Sometimes I wrestle with what I am not. Sometimes I feel like what I’m doing and everything I’ve done is nothing. Air.

When it happens, it is usually after I encounter people I consider to have attained something significant. It is like standing on a sidewalk looking up to a skyscraper. You cannot ignore the building. Not only that, what the building is, forces to realize what you are not.

It is sad how we sometimes define ourselves by what we are not. We add up everything we lack, every insecurity, shortcoming and multiply it.

making peace with what you are not

We ought to be defined by our strengths and who we are and not what we lack. This makes us more aware of what we are capable of. It forces us to consider the possibilities with what we have in hand.

Only looking at what we do not have incapacitates us. It causes us to focus on what we are not able to do. And, if we do so long enough, we will not do anything that matters. Our world, and the world at large will never be changed.

Thus we have to make peace with what we are not. Make peace not war. It is when we are who we are and do what is within our line of strength and possibilities that we can make the greatest impact.

Deal With It

The reason we get bogged down about what we are not is often due to comparing ourselves to others. We tend to lift up areas that are weaknesses to us against the same, which happen to be the strengths of others. The measuring scales are compromised.

Comparing areas we are strong in with the same in others is also not the best way to make peace with what you are not. There are just too many variables. The power of context is often ignored in the instances of comparison.

Leaders (and individuals of course) consumed by they are not, are leaders that accomplish little, if at all.

#Note-to-self: stop comparing yourself to others.

Appreciate who you are. I’m not suggesting abandon all efforts for growth, I’m saying no matter how hard you try, you will never be anyone else but you.

Though you share the same leadership styles with another leader, you cannot compare yourself to them. This applies in more than just leadership…

The first step to making peace with what you’re not is to stop comparing yourself to anybody else. Be who you are. Act well your part with what you have. Stop comparing…

[image by BruceTurner | cc]

Published by Blessing Mpofu

just a guy changing the world

Join the Conversation


Be a part of the conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Nice blog! I wish I wrote this :P

    What we do doesn’t defines who we are, but the other way around; who we are should define what we do. It’s the inside out movement, our authenticity.
    I hope we will not compare on the level of who we are. If so, then we can compare our acts cause then we can be truly happy someone else is better! Then, I believe, you’re also free to fail. Not that failure is your aim, but the attempt says more about you than the result.

    1. if you had written this you might have done a better job ;-) so true Geert. powerful words you share. i like “…attempt says more about you than the result…”