The Difference Between Guidance And Control

Leadership has a lot to do with directing people. This includes identifying and appropriating their uniqueness. Uniqueness extends to how they are wired: their dispositions, skills and talents. You can change people but only to an extent. Thus guiding is a critical aspect of leading. (Actually, this also applies to parenting)

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The Commitments That Suffer Most When Life Gets Hectic

I just got back to the office from the ‘holidays’. I knew there were a lot of important and urgent things awaiting. I successfully resisted the urge to work and tried to focus on building a reserve of strength I’d need when I got back.

As I imagined things are as I had imagined. At the start of the year and I’ve already used, “hectic” as a response and punctuation. Time and excellence are of the essence!

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Books And Words: How Dad Tricked Me And Lessons For All Of Us

Dad tricked my siblings and I when it comes to reading as a habit. This is why I read. A lot. From blog posts to books. Being a little more grown up, I appreciate it.

He took us to the bookstores, and besides our textbooks, bought extra reading material for us. He made us value the books by covering them with us. Then he’d wait a few weeks and kinda give teasers on some of the books he’d bought for us.

Now that I think about it, there is no way he could’ve made up trailers to some of them if he hadn’t read them. This means that I read some books as boy dad also read. Am I getting a little sentimental? Oh well…

books and words

Anyway, books, have become my nemesis

Reading, from my much younger years helped me fall in love with words. The first time I wrote a book I was thirteen. I just never published it and I don’t think I’d let it see the light of day. Terrible writing but a great clue. A great clue in that it got me thinking about having a go crafting words.

This is testimony to how some passions and pursuits are formed over decades. Decades. Time either makes us hunger more or retreat. Some of all this is our choice and some of it is a sifting to fling interests.

If you’re looking for a point to this post I’m sure there are some and maybe not so many. Maybe I should think about one or two:

Dad

Like my dad did for me, you can be responsible for helping others, by nudging and or mentoring. If you’re a parent, you have more influence than you can imagine.

Creativity is often overlooked, underused yet. It makes a critical component for influence. Think about how to influence creatively.

Leading and making a difference in people’s lives is more than just telling them what to do. It is dong it in such a way they follow through and remember it as a tether.

Time

You have to be patient to develop and grow in your craft or passion. Instant growth or maturity is a myth. Keep thy hustle and be intentional about your growth.

Retro

It can be helpful to look back and get clues about some your passions. There are a many things you could uncover relevant to reinventing yourself, if you’re at that point.

Sometimes we have abilities or “passions” we neglect through time or circumstance. I use “passions” loosely. To get a better idea on what some of what “passion” means, go here.

Outro

So, uhm, thanks dad for the many lessons in one…

[Photo Credit: NatalieMaynor]

Really? All In The Name Of Truth And Honesty

Too many crimes are committed in the name of honesty and truth. Some people claim to be very open people because they always speak the truth. They claim they are honest in dealing with people when they don’t like something.

That is what they say. There are times I may have also used their language. Rather, they’re excuses.

Often it is just a cover for being nasty. Mean. Stop giving honesty and being truthful a bad rap because of your meanness.

truth and honesty

I’m not suggesting that we never speak the truth. I’m saying we must be careful how we speak the truth.

We must be honest with people but it matters how we translate that honesty in the context. Care enough about your message to package it well.

Also, don’t mistake being rude for being honest with people. That makes you worse than a jerk. As I encounter people who do such, I write these things as notes to myself.

There are many opportunities to be a jerk. The question is, “Will I take them?” [Click to Tweet

Will you?

I know that I can be just as bad. You too. I’d like to think that I can’t be as bad as everyone else but that is not the truth. Sometimes I do cross the “jerk line”.

I’m glad to have people around me that love me enough to pull me back over that line without being nasty but truthful in a kind way. It hurts, sometimes, but it helps. I end up a better person. These people help me become more.

I want to be honest about how I feel with people I care about and leave relationships intact. In fact, I want, I need the relationships to be stronger. I want people I lead to love me for the truth I bleed, with love.

“I’m just saying the truth” or “I’m just being honest” must not be used, as a cop out for not delivering the truth in a way it deserves.

Truth is a beautiful thing. It deserves to be delivered in a manner that exalts not demeans it [Click to Tweet]

Truth is like a hammer. If it is used well it can build great things. It can also be used destructively. We get to choose how we use it.

Love people and truth enough to use it to build up; not destroy [Click to Tweet]  

When you’re done using truth, the hammer, may be there more standing and not rubble.

Honesty strengthens the foundations of relationships, don’t deface it.

[Photo Credit: Marc Wathieu]

When Being Thoughtful Does Not Count For Much

You’ve probably heard and said, the saying, “It is the thought that counts”. When it comes to relationships that is not always true. Relationships easily fail because of mere thoughts. Having benevolent thoughts and further thinking you should act on them is where we often end.

You can have great thoughts and intentions but they will never count for much until they are acted upon. Thinking of doing something nice for someone does not automatically count as doing it for them. Being thoughtful is and can only be acknowledged by action. Failed benevolent thoughts in action will always trump great benevolent thoughts that are never acted upon.

When Being Thoughtful Does Not Count For Much
(benevolent) thoughts must be translated into action for them to make a difference || image by striatic | cc

 

Great intentions alone have never changed anything and never will

Being thoughtful will never count for much unless acted upon. Your (benevolent) thoughts will only count for much when they are translated into action. Only then can thoughts touch others. Thoughts can only change lives when they work not only through our minds but our hands as well. No matter how great your thoughts, they count for nothing if you do not act on them.

Thoughtfulness is only a seed whose fruit is realized in taking action.

Thoughtful people are not considered thoughtful because of the wonderful thoughts they have for others. “Thoughtful” as a word, perhaps misleads people. On the surface it suggests that thinking about something or someone is enough. Mental activity alone does not make a difference unless it is translated to means that allow it to make an impact.

Being thoughtful is measured by actions & not mere mental activity

Stop thinking you are thoughtful and start acting it out. Imagine what could happen to your relationships all round if you stopped thinking, “thoughtful” but started being “(benevolent) action thoughtful”. Being thoughtful does not count for much it is mere thoughts that are never acted on to make a difference.

Wonderful thoughts are only wonderful when they are made visible through action

Action can be a kind deed, or words that you say. Your presence, especially when needed is another way of showing your care. People on see your thoughtfulness in your actions. It must translate to something visible and tangible to others, otherwise it does not mean much to them. Thinking of someone is only the first step in making a difference in their lives. Next time you consider yourself thoughtful consider this:

How visible and tangible is my thoughtfulness?

 

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